Unusually Good Day

Not entirely sure why it's such a good day, but despite feeling like crap it is just that...a really good day. D will be coming over tonight and as much as I am concerned that things will get ugly the moment we let our guard down, I'm still looking forward to it. Glutton for punishment I guess. But the way I see it, we enjoy each and every moment we get and hope to the gods above that we don't do whatever it is that upset her again. I think the problems she has with us are being resolved but since I've never quite figured out exactly what it is I can't be sure but we can hope that the changes I am making because I feel they are needed will be good enough. I cannot help but still feel like a bad person when I go back over e-mails that were sent to me and it kills me that I don't know exactly what I did and thus I cannot take any real steps to fix it. So, I came to a compromise with myself, fix what I feel needs to be fixed and then take it from there.

On the less scary side of good news, we've been invited to start participating in rituals with another group of pagans in the complex, as nervous as I am about gathering with a bunch of people I don't know I'm really looking forward to it. Finally we have a group of what could become friends other than DMC. They are great after all, but it's kind of depressing to look up and realize that you only have three people you can TRULY relate to. Sure I've got aqcuaintances at work, but that's all they are really, I can't see myself going out of my way to spend a bunch of extra time with them 'just because' because we really don't have THAT much in common.

Getting my altar together is going well, a piece here, a piece there, it won't really pick up again until after three month and vacation is saved for. Oh did I mention? No, I don't think I did, but if we can afford it Kota and I will be heading back down to Cali to go sailing with Captain. I really look forward to it, sure it means likely up to two days working to get Veeg sea ready but I miss the sea so much that it's very very worth it. Wish us luck on that!