The darker side of human nature...

And no, I'm not talking about the wild, passionate side that courts danger. I'm talking about the jealous angry child in all of us. Who unprovoked and unexpectedly rears it's ugly head when it's least expected. Today of all days I should have had absolutely no reason for the minor flash of resentment that came when I realized that my husband had a little cleaning to do on the house before he would be free to play games the rest of the day while I worked. Thankfully the disgusting feeling didn't last long and was as it should be instantly replaced by guilt. There is no reason I should resent him for his place, I like my job and he is where he is supposed to be, where I promised him years ago I would try to get him.

I cannot help but wonder though if this is why despite the fact that I try really hard not to be a lazy slob on weekends I find myself unable to lift a hand to help around the house. That too pisses me off. So he doesn't work 8 hours a day 5 days a week, he does a pretty good job keeping the house clean and as time goes by he'll likely get to the point where he is not only keeping the house spotless, he's getting all the laundry done...(well all of ours anyway,) and making lunch for me to take to work before I've even gotten home. I have to wonder though if I just woke up on thw wrong side of the bed this morning, because most days he's exactly where I want him. Today however; was the juvenile resentment that once he was done with his few chores he got to just do whatever. Ah well, that particular emotion is beaten again. As it should be. If it ever gets to the point where I'm having trouble forcing it back down THEN I'll talk to him about a part time job. Besides it will likely all get better when we get our puppies, because then his job will not only be to keep the house clean, the laundry done, and have dinner ready when I got home it would also be to work with both the puppies on housebreaking.

Sometimes I hate being human. Sometimes I hate having feelings, if I didn't have them I wouldn't have to fight like I did today. Short fight or not it should have been completely unnecessary. *sighs* Ah well, battle won. Me one, inner bitch zero.