Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Time for Happy Thoughts

It's been 13 days since my last blog entry and things have been...difficult to put it nicely which is once again why I have not blogged. If you want more information on that feel free to check out my bear's ice cave. He actually wound up NEEDING to vent about it...I've just been trying to sleep it away. But I stumbled across something today that I need to blog so I will remember it.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthily -- if only just for today. And not only that, I'll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

It is an adaptation of the same thoughts from Al-anon.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

My First Thursday Thirteen







Thirteen Things I love about my husband:

1. I love it when I wake to see your smiling face, it reminds me that no matter how bad things are I've always got someone by my side.
2. I love it when we sit in comfortable silence, simply enjoying one anothers presense.
3. I love it when you hold me when I'm weak and remind me both that I am and why I am strong.
4. I love it when you laugh with true glee, it reminds me that there is always something to be happy about.
5. I love it when you wear silly things and don't care what others think. It reminds me that there is a child inside which must always be nurtured.
6. I love it when you sing, because that is one of the times you greatest express your joy.
7. I love that mischevious glint you get in your eyes when you have a surprise planned. It reminds me that you care.
8. I love it when you remind me to eat...it reminds me that even when I'm not watching out for myself...someone is.
9. I love it when you do those goofy things that you do, simply because you can, it reminds me of the true meaning of freedom.
10. I love it when cook at night...so I can come home, and just enjoy dinner with you.
11. I love it when you help me to rearrange my schedule so that I am married only to you...rather than to my job as well.
12. I love it when you remind me of all of those things that I've always wanted to do...just to help me remember that it's possible and see the progress already made
13. Lastly I love you...just for being you.

Forever and Always...an Eternity of Eternities.

I thank the gods for every day I wake to see you there and I sometimes do no feel that I tell you that often enough.




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Just when I needed it.

I've been feeling like I'm being foolish, having waited so long to return to work...it doesn't help but feel like there is no way I'll finish school in two years...this has been mentioned in conversation to Kelly, whose sort of become an unofficial mentor of mine. She's great when it comes to providing moral support so I felt obligated to share what she said helped her get through school too.

DEAR ABBY: This is a long overdue thank-you. Nine years ago, I decided to go back to school to become a teacher. I didn't know if I really wanted to return to school at my age because I would be 40 upon graduating. Then I read a letter in your column about someone in a similar situation. After thinking about your answer to that question, I decided to enroll.
In no time at all, I completed my studies and went to work in a wonderful elementary school with a great staff and precious children. Now I actually enjoy going to work every day.
I'll be forever grateful, Abby, for that little "push" I needed to get me started. If you print this, please do not mention my name, city or state. -- GRATEFUL IN THE GOLDEN WEST

DEAR GRATEFUL: Thank you for an upper of a letter. The item you are referring to was published many years ago -- and for anyone who is unfamiliar with it, here it is! It is a letter that I'm proud to say has changed many lives for the better. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old college dropout whose lifelong ambition was to be a physician. I have a very good job selling pharmaceutical supplies, but my heart is still in the practice of medicine. I do volunteer work at the local hospital on my time off, and people tell me I would have made a wonderful doctor.

If I go back to college and get my degree, then go to medical school, do my internship and finally get into the actual practice of medicine, it will take me seven years! But, Abby, in seven years I will be 43 years old. What do you think? -- UNFULFILLED IN PHILLY

DEAR UNFULFILLED: And how old will you be in seven years if you don't go to medical school?

This is dedicated to all those out there who wish to make a change for the better in their life, whether it's to make themselves a better person or simply a happier person. Not that the two are much different. After all in my first training class with Kuma the question was asked 'What is a good dog' one of the many correct answers was 'A good dog is a happy dog.'

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

All I want for Christmas...

Okay so I don't necessarily just want this for Christmas, I'll take it anytime all I want for my family is prosperity and we're not talking just monetary prosperity here, we're talking peace of mind, true happiness prosperity here.

The kind of mental, spiritual and physical well being that simply causes you to glow both inside and out. We're talking having the capability to look at concerns and know that they will be dealt with. I'm talking all out fullfillment. I know I'm asking a lot but I've got to say that it struck me today while planning which way I wanted the entryway to face in the house I am designing to potentially be our custom build haven that I really do want alot...and what's more, I expect to get it and I am fully willing to work to do so.

It seems two years of homelessness has made me picky *grins*

Monday, October 1, 2007

Civic Duty

Though I oft times wonder if there is any point in me keeping to my civic duty of voting and particpating in a jury I have to at least stand up on this point. Recently G.O.P Presidential candidate John McCain made some remarks that I believe are completely morally repugnant regarding the Constitution and America in general.

I will say I have been slowly becoming more and more apathetic towards the government as a whole and really starting to get the feeling that any and all government officials can just burn in their own hell this at least got my attention. Unfortunately however; it points out only how right I was to believe that this country is hardly ready to be a true democracy.

'We the People'? Bullshit. I remember being a young idealistic senior who believed that because the constitutional government competition I was competing in was centered around the ideals in the constitution that I had the right to express my religion in a way that harmed no one I was marked down enough to keep my team from attending the national competition in Washington D.C. due to my small, inobtrusive pentacle. It's only gone down hill from there.

Since then I have watched the American people as a whole laugh at the first Amendment, unless it pertained to their right to critisize people of other nations. Freedom of speech is DYING people! Stand up and do something about it!

Not only do I not have the freedom to discuss my religion without having to look over my shoulder I cannot enjoy a relationship that harms NO ONE without looking over my shoulder. If heterosexuals believe that same sex marriege is a threat to their relationships what does that say about them?

One by one the insults add up...unfortunately...though I'm not sure for who...I'm pissed.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/10/01/mccain.christian.nation/index.html

It's time to stand up and remind people that this country was born of people fleeing religious persecution. People who wanted the right of pursuit of happiness...

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

No where in here does it mention God of any sort... http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/freedom/constitution/text.html

Did anyone ever mention to you McCain...the founding fathers also said that we should have a revolution once a generation. I think sweetheart...that we're way over due.

Unfortunately I have no clue how exactly one goes about starting a revolution...nor am I entirely sure that one could occur without bloodshed. While I am sick and tired of seeing my rights trampled upon by the religious right when church and state are supposed to be seperate I'm not sure it's entirely worth it to commence with the shooting just yet. Perhaps I'll jsut start voting again...if I can ever get the state of OR to actually register me...for three years (almost 4 now) I have tried...and failed to register to vote...guess it's time to try again.

Great Joy

1 month clean. Yes, I know that makes me sound like a drug addict, but in all reality I was...correction I am. When one is 'recovering' from an addiction they are always addictions. Addictions are not something that can be broken but something that has to be consciously avoided. Like an alcoholic I know that one puff and I'll be back to nearly a pack a day but how wonderful it is to be free of that and I intend to stay that way.

Great big violin

I feel like I am unintentionally being played like a giant violin. I know he doesn't mean to and perhaps it is in part just not understanding. He cannot seem to make up his mind, first it was this weekend and now it's next. We'd made plans based on this weekend. I gave Kota the week off based on this weekend, because I figured we could get it done once we were done helping him move. (Don't ask me why we just clean much better and much quicker when he's not home). Now he's told the complex of his new move date and so of course they are going to do what complexes do, they are going to put off finalizing his apartment until sometime next week etc. In other words he has unintentionally locked us in to another week. No big deal really except for the fact that as it stands right now; (I haven't spoken with him to try to remedy this just yet, haven't seen him and I refuse to interrupt his work over this.) he'll pay his last bill on his apartment this week and then still not have anything to pay next week.

I'm going to see if I can get him to put $50 to $100 towards helping with the apartment. We don't really NEED it but it would definately make things easier and more importantly a little less awkward. I wish that he would bring it up given that he must realize he's getting a full week scot free; (unless he's done something to break the bank.) and I hate to have to tell him that he's unintentionally making us feel played but I might have to. It only seems to me that the right thing to do, provided he realizes what he's doing would be to offer a little help. That would have made this feel a lot less like being played for a fool.